Anything But Ordinary

McAlpine Greenway

The year is 2020.  It's April, although that is hardly believable.  A plague has set in and the world is panicking.  It's so surreal and unbelievable that my life, fortunately, hasn't changed all that much.  I woke up this morning and I made my coffee.  I spent a couple of hours watching the AM news and listening to music from the 90's and early 00's.  

After seeing my friend's dope designer face mask, I ordered one from https://shopjadesky.com/collections/accessories.  I figure if I am going to have to go out in public during this time, I may as well do so in style.  Plus, I can support a local business with my money.  Hers was shimmering blue, so I chose one a big more in-keeping with my plain style.

It's astonishing that my life hasn't changed that much, and I am still listening to the same songs I listened to when I was a teenager.  Avril Lavigne's CD, "Let Go", came out in 2003.  At this time, I had the album on constant repeat.  I would sit in my room, doing homework, cleaning, exploring the interwebs, with this CD soundtracking my life.  In a way my life is like a constant repeating soundtrack.  Every couple of months, the playlist changes (sometimes only slightly).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0pdOTyk5azQ

The song "Anything But Ordinary" was always one of my favorites, but wow does that song resonate with me now more than ever.  However, I can't figure out if I really wanted to be anything but ordinary, or if, at the time, it was my intense desire to "fit in" that made this song so special to me.  Objectively, the idea of living a normal life was never something that appealed to me.  

From a young age, I didn't subscribe to the normal "guy" activities.  I never wanted to play football, I preferred the arts.  I wasn't much into socializing either, that's an understatement.  I really just wanted to stay alone and be in my little world.  My closest company was my parents and older kids/adults.  Now as an "adult" (who cares?), I find myself fighting anxieties to explore in the real world.  Life is the adult playground.  

So to speak, I have been "sheltering in place" since long before coronavirus required for everyone else to do so.  Perhaps that's why this change of lifestyle, while taxing on social dependencies, has not gutted me in the same way it has others.  

I will acknowledge that I am fortunate to have a job where I can work remotely.  Beyond this blessing, I am intensely aware of the fact that the materialistic vanity tasks that I spent many of my high school and college years engaging in, have lost their luster.  There is only so many times I can walk through the mall and purchase abundant blue plaid shirts.  Hey, I can appreciate a fashion item that really speaks to me.  But this kind of materialistic coddling so many of us do has completely drained me of energy for years.  Walking through the same malls, the same stores, seeing the same recycled patterns and mysteriously similar to last season but refreshed styles does nothing to light up my soul.  I believe George Carlin said once that America has become one giant "mall" and Americans go through semi-consciously".  In the same way, eating out just doesn't have the same appeal it did when I was younger.

I take it for granted.  As a foodie, it's delightful to try all sorts of foods.  Variety if the spice of life.  But when you are used to going out to eat 5-7 times a week, it is not all that exciting.  For this reason, I've tried a myriad of solutions recently including meal services and kits, meal prep, meal replacement, intermittent fasting (which works by the way), among other strategies.  All of these are aimed at eating foods that nourish my body while minimizing the dulling of my "eating out" experiences.  This has actually worked pretty well, although it obliterated one of the key social outlets I was accustomed to.

Also, as an introvert, the best experiences I have are those with close friends and enjoying their company.  My friend and I made blackened salmon in a tomato cream sauce with lime sweet potato mash the other night.  The time spent together, cooking and enjoying good company is so much better than any overblown evening out at a restaurant purely as a matter of convenience.

You know you're over the habitual social gatherings when the mere "meets and greets" of the waiter or waitress makes you want to get to the point.  "I'll take a #3 with ranch, thanks".  How depressing is that?  Let's go somewhere interesting and different.  It may sound like i'm poo-pooing all forms of social gatherings.  I certainly think that social gatherings can be beautiful and have a lasting impact on our lives when they are meaningful.  How wonderful are weddings and family vacations (most of the time)?

The shelter-at-home and ban of large gatherings imposed by the Rona is certainly crushing many of us.  It's causing some to slip into depression, question life and their future, causing relationships to end and causing far too many to slip into financial despair.  I am not trying to dismiss the tremendous financial implications and impacts of those experiencing job loss at the moment.  That is the real tragedy.  It took one pandemic for capitalism to show its frailty.

From a personal perspective, it may cause people to have to look in the mirror and stop distracting themselves with endless errands.  It may cause people to stop looking to others to feed their feelings of inadequacy.  Nah, who are we kidding?  We know social media was the biggest enabler of that since Myspace (2003, by the way).  We have become passive consumers of social media validation since this time.  Maybe now we will realize the important of deep human connection (mind you, deep not superficial).

While the horrors of this virus have only begun to take their toll on human life, we are changed forever.  Could we have continued to engage in rampant materialism, cycling the same superficial activities over and over again, distracting ourselves from the truth and at the same time, destroying the Earth that gives us life, clean water, and clean air?  Absolutely not. 

Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.

Perhaps we should all have a little humility.  Life is as fragile as it has always been.  People are suffering.  We are in a moment of truth.  Will we come out the other side being better people and will we let this experience change us.  Or will it just be a temporary pause on our unconscious existence.  The choice is ours.

Spend some time reflecting.  Taste the wine, taste the salt and the savory flavors of existence.  Spend some time alone outside, notice how the air is clean, the universe is happy.  Do the tasks you've been putting off.  Make the big plans, not the small ones.  Just enjoy, enjoy, enjoy.  We have this moment, don't waste it.

Anything But Ordinary Lyrics

Avril Lavigne

Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breath?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please

Let down your defenses
Use no common sense
If you look you will see
That this world is a beautiful
Accident turbulent succulent
Opulent permanent, no way
I want to taste it
Don't want to waste it away